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Chocolate Cornstarch Pudding February 27, 2006

Posted by K in food.
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  • 1/2 cup white sugar
  • 3 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder
  • 1/4 cup cornstarch
  • 1/8 teaspoon salt
  • 2 3/4 cups milk
  • 2 tablespoons margarine or butter
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract


  1. In a saucepan, stir together sugar, cocoa, cornstarch and salt. Place over medium heat, and stir in milk. Bring to a boil, and cook, stirring constantly, until mixture thickens enough to coat the back of a metal spoon. Remove from heat, and stir in margarine and vanilla. Let cool briefly, and serve warm, or chill in refrigerator until serving.

Why the Newspaper, saab? February 25, 2006

Posted by K in contemporary, Poem.


Do you read

Between the lines

Or are you happy

In agreement?

Do you know

Who the owner is?

The owner’s business

The owner’s loyalties?

Do you recognise

It is not infallible

Do you know

When it spews untruth?

Are you any different

Now that you know the T.R.U.T.H

Is the world any different

For your unconscious ingestion of News?

Who likes Gone With The Wind February 25, 2006

Posted by K in Reviews/Rants.

Gone with the Wind is a brilliant book which got butchered by Selznick who deserves to have his insides rearranged by a kukri if he weren’t dead already(is he??)Link Nothing personal, but seriously, if the dude doesn’t want to spend enough on an admittedly long movie had it been loyal to the book; he should have just LEFT IT ALONE!! Know why I’m very incensed? Because of the way he portrays Scarlett and the blacks. Dude is mentally deficient, give him dabur badam shirin or something. Scarlett is NOT a petulant child. She’s a woman who knows her mind and defies everyone, including Rhett to do what she has to to ‘never be hungry again’. Whatever, we can argue about this, but if you like the movie, you obviously like Rhett better and are mad at Scarlett for not allowing you those sickly sweet tears of a fulfilled romance which is not yours. Go get a boyfriend/girlfriend/whatever, woman/man/whatever! See the book objectively(ha ha ha)! Or with a feminist perspective 🙂 whatever!
Also about the blacks-i’m aware of the fact that Margaret Mitchell portrayed the blacks as inferiors, but Pork is not a dim-witted idiot even in the book. Pork ofcourse is a dumb name and extremely racist, but lets not even go into that. That would make this a post of god knows how many words and you would run away, and we wouldn’t want that would we? :D:D
Selznick’s choice of actors for the roles also leave everything to be desired. Vivien Leigh is as like Scarlett as I am. And i’m 5 feet nothing(quarter, actually :D), Indian, dark hair, NO green eyes …you get the picture.
Clark Gable is the only dude who fits his character, despite everything.

This was an emotion driven rant that I lifted from my first joint blog with a friend(Pallavi. Go read her blog. It is interesting). I promise to come back with a highly objective, intensely critical perspective soon enough. I’m doing this next year anyway. Can’t wait!*rubs hands with glee* lolol.

I’m a Part of Society February 24, 2006

Posted by K in contemporary, Life.

Strangeness’ always stands out. I noticed a fellow at the Mohammadpur Bus Stop today who was strange. He was strange because he was doing stretching exercises on the bus stop. First he picked up one knee, and rotated his ankle. The other ankle followed. Then came some side stretches. Finally, he bent backwards, went really low, and stuck his crotch out towards the road. Stretching his back, I’m guessing and hoping. Sometime later he came up to me and politely asked me the time. Excuse me, what is the time? He wanted to set his watch. Again-What’s the date today? Then-Thank you. I’m embarrassed to say I didn’t react very well. I gave the barest minimum answers, and then inclined my head with a half smile on my lips.

Why? Because his activities disconcerted me. Because it was a lonely area, and I couldn’t spot any other women around. As far as I could see there were about 10 auto drivers squatting a few metres away, and a few men in and around my immediate neighbourhood. I think I was feeling threatened.

Would I have reacted similarly had he asked me in Hindi instead of Ms Pushpa English? Would I have given him the exact time instead of rounding it off to three thirty if he hadn’t stuck out his crotch at the passing traffic??

He was an ordinary fellow. He wore clothes like you or me. Had a carefully grown beard and moustache, slicked hair. Had the middle class urge to speak English to impress. There were a fistful of people at the bus stand, but he, for obvious reasons, stood out. A strange little ordinary man who reminded me that I’m not an island.

Hell Hath no Fury like Nature Spurned February 23, 2006

Posted by K in Calamity, Death, Nature.
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You would think that in todays world it is impossible to be cut-off from civilization. I thought so too. But Nature is Boss. Trees uprooted,many falling on men and women running here and there. So much rain, like long knitting needles, scarring you maliciously. A sadistic pleasure, almost, in proving that anything can be unmade. The relief started coming in, but ours was a small place away from the lime light.

In a little shelter. Beds,cots, mattresses all thrown together. Still people sleeping on the floor. Sweat, tears, even love. A man next to me, always doing things that made people hate him. Why? It was as if he needed others to punish him for being unable to save his family. Even his oldest son was not spared. The old woman next to me, the orphaned girl, bother equally besieged by hysteria. Madness,madness! And why not? One devastating second- and suddenly, people dead everywhere! No warning, no time to prepare; how can you prepare to lose loved ones? Emptiness clawing at you. You want to believe. It agonises you that you cannot .An overwhelming sense of being all alone, even when you’re forced to share your blanket with two others.

So much activity, suddenly an avalanche of cameras. A donated radio tuned in to the local news-nothing but endless warnings about the turn of the weather .Experts predicting other such disasters in the near future.

I like your concern. Thank You for Feeling For Me.

My Love February 23, 2006

Posted by K in contemporary, Life, Nature, Poem.

I am the Spirit

Of all living things,

I am the Spirit

Of all green things.

I am Nature,

I am a human being;

I am the stars,

I am the seas.
I flit across,

I travel afar-

I move with the waters,

I flow with the breeze.

I dance on tree tops,

I sing with the bees;

I grow with the flowers:

I whirl through the streets.

I am here, there, everywhere;

I am so small,I am so big,

I am the Creator, the overseer-

Of all things on earth.

I used to feed my hungry eyes, I stared at fields of green,

The colour of the grass, of the charming flowers-

Bathed in the rays

Of the yellow sun.

I used to inhale, I used to breathe-

The scent of the flowers, the breeze from the trees;

A whiff of wet earth, a whiff of the seas-

Would cleanse my soul, would cleanse my being.

I used to taste the fresh morning air,

I used to taste the starry nights:

I would feed on wild berries, I would drink from the cup

A brew made by me, the elixir of life.

I used to touch the air around me,

I used to touch the skies;

I used to feel the rays of the sun,

I used to touch my Earth.

I used to hear the sounds of the woods,

The roaring murmur of immortal seas;

I used to hear the footfalls of all creatures:

Now I hear only one.

I hear the ever-loudening footfalls of Man.

He, who holds humanity in his hand

He, whose mind is brittle, thoughts impressionable;

He, whose heart will obey, those who can dictate to it.

He, who thinks he alone is right-

He, who is a foolish fanatic.

He, who will crush those who stand in his way-

He, who is destroying Nature, he who is destroying me.

He is uprooting the green of the fields:

He is slashing away the red of the flowers;

I am turning blind; my sight is gone-

There is nothing left for me to see.

He is flinging fumes into the air-

He is polluting the seas.

I am choking! God help me!

What do I breathe?!

The fresh morning air? The cool starry nights?

Have changed into black day, and night.

The berries are gone, the elixir contaminated;

I cannot eat, therefore I starve.

No more can I touch the air around me, nor can I touch the skies;

The skin on my fingers just shrivels away, with every tentative thrust.

I can feel no more, my touch is dead.

Oh woe! What use is a senseless thing?

The sounds from the woods I hear alright-

The sounds of trees being felled:

The sounds of cars, the sounds of machines-

Have torn my ears, now I hear no more.

I see my creatures die everyday,

I see my trees bleed to death:

I am seeing my Earth wither away;

Grief is strangling my heart!

Tears may well fall from my sightless eyes,

But what can be their use?

Can they reconstruct oceans?

Can they bring back what is lost?

I am completely at Man’s mercy-

But is that always so bad?

Every now and then a glimpse I catch-

Which fills me with undying hope…

They are waking up, they know that they need

All the forest’s creatures, all the forest’s trees;

They know that with me their souls too will die,

For I am the Spirit, the Spirit of ALL beings.

The day draws near, when I become whole again,

I know aeons may pass before that happens again.

I shall wait, I won’t lose hope:

I am reassured by the voices that call-

“Wake! Wake!

Before it is too late!”

A strange person February 23, 2006

Posted by K in Friends.
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I know a girl who does strange things. She used to be a good friend of mine. But not any more. I didn’t like her strangeness.

I felt queer when I was with her after a point of time…I felt small, insignificant, an unattractive, bumbling fool. She picked another friend. Ganged up with her, I felt, in letting loose cruel, witty one liners that made me feel terrible, and left others laughing. I admired her talent.

Naturally I thought the fault lay in me. That I couldn’t take it sportingly, that I didn’t have a fast tongue. The cumulation of all these feeling led to an incident of crying. I cried. Had to be encouraged though; it was an unfamiliar experience 🙂

Now I know she does it to others as well. It was’t something about me specifically. I know her latest victim. Love her, she’s my friend. There is nothing in her that marks her as inferior to the Strange One. And I know that I didn’t necessarily over react in my time. It relieves me. I shed the load of two years the day before yesterday.

Death: A Poem February 23, 2006

Posted by K in Death, Poem.

What is Death?

But another phase of spiritual life

How do we know to be scared of it?

What do we know to avoid it?

Who has come back

To tell what lies

In that stage which remains

Beyond the living man.

For all we know it could well contain

All that we seek’d before

Perhaps it is the Eden

Perhaps the Devils Abode

Who knows where the soul travels after Death?

Or if it does at all .

What happens to the lifeless body?

Is it just left to rot?

Is the flesh meant to feed?

Satisfy the microorganisms?

Is that how Nature desires

To maintain the balance of life ?

Or does the soul strip the flesh

And travel to an unknown lair

Is the soul then given another job?

Is it given a new life to live?

What is Death?

What happens after death?

Is there something beyond Death?

The mystery of death

Shall so remain

Till a dead man writes a diary .

I don’t cry February 23, 2006

Posted by K in Death.

I remember an incident that occurred when I was in class 8. I think that was the first time I gave a serious thought to death and what it means. Not that I hadn’t thought about it before…I was a death obsessed child 🙂 Death has always fascinated me. Actually things that people hated, abhorred or plain ignored always fascinated me. I think that was the beginning of the emergence of the non-conformist streak in me.

Anyway, one day we had a special assembly called in the middle of classes, as far as I remember. We filed in, class by class, building by building, and the Central Courtyard was soon full. Down below we had, surprise, surprise, our principal and head of senior school along with some other senior teachers. All were looking grim. I forgot who took the mike, but we heard that a little boy in the Junior branch of our school (which was situated in another campus) had fallen to his death the day before. I don’t remember my reaction very well, but it wasn’t an intense one as far as I can recall. I remember feeling mildly disgusted with the Principal as, while speaking, she squeezed out what I thought were crocodile tears. I thought it was ridiculous the way she pointedly wiped her tears while talking about the incident.

What bothered me about the incident was that a) I’m sure she barely knew the child. Even if she did know the child, I thought it was ridiculous for her to publicly cry, it was as if it was suddenly about her and not the boy. It seemed to scream out LOOK AT ME I’M SO UNHAPPY I HAVE SUCH A BIG HEART.

We spoke about that boy that day. Just the usual, ‘Oh my sister is in his class…’ ‘He was adorable…’ ‘Poor boy, so young….’ ‘I feel so sorry for him…’ Some even shed tears for him. Some declared it spoiled their mood for the day.

I think I shocked a few people when I said I didn’t feel sorry for the boy at all. I was barely affected by the incident, as he was just a name to me, a name I had heard that very morning. I said whatever little bit of sorriness I perceived in my heart, it was for the parents and relatives, for they would be the ones feeling the anguish of a missing love. The boy was dead, he was gone. He wasn’t in this world anymore. And from what I had thought out of the other world, I didn’t think he would be particularly unhappy. The astral planet is enlightening anyway. Besides, chances are that he wasn’t a very evolved soul. HE would probably inhabit the planet for a few moments and take birth again. He wouldn’t remember. The parents would though.

I remember that led me thinking…what is it that causes us to cry and feel terrible when people we know or love pass away. It is complete selfishness ofcourse- we feel sorry for ourselves…that we wouldn’t see them any more. We feel deprived. I would also think that sometimes, we feel terrible because we DON’T feel terrible. A terrible sense of guilt assaults us. WHY am I not feeling sad? How can I be having fun now that he/she is no more? Shouldn’t I be acting differently, isn’t something supposed to change now that he/she is gone…? Ofcourse the reaction of our dear fellow members of society compounds the problem. If I react, rather don’t react to a death I know I will be called all sorts of things. Heartless..selfish…strange…didn’t love her…shame on her…just wait, a time will come when even she will be forced to cry… How DARE you be different? Society doesn’t like you to be different.

I remember likening a human body to a battery operated machine when I was very young. There are two ways for it to go kaput. One, if the juice runs out, which is what happens to old people and in the case of natural deaths. The second is if it breaks-accidents would come under these.

It doesn’t bother me that I don’t cry when people die. I don’t cry. I cry when I feel sorry for myself. Which is seldom. I’m an incredibly selfish person. But I love people, so I cannot convince myself that I’m heartless. I’m not. I feel an incredible love for people; I feel warmly about strangers I don’t know. But it’s a love that doesn’t get torn by death.

I have never had to face the death of a loved one. It’s something I don’t even think about. Consciously. But if dreams are anything to go by, I will be one crazed human being. But even in my dreams I don’t cry.