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May 31, 2007

Posted by K in Abstract Ramblings, Diary.

It’s 2 o’clock at night and I’m really very bored, so I thought I ought to rediscover the art of blogging. I haven’t really blogged for about a month. Or maybe more. Depends on what ‘really blogging’ means.

This is going to be an abstract ramble, because I really have nothing intelligent to say. The holidays do this to me. Sigh, I’m a disgrace to studentkind. I don’t blossom and bloom when freed of education.

I’ve been trying to get people to start blogs. I’m not sure why. I think it has something to do with how I now hold the art in high esteem πŸ™‚ It is a really good medium to say things. Perhaps not say say, but its a start. I like to read what people have to say.

I’ve never loved Delhi. Its always felt cold, and disconnected somehow. I’ve never smiled when I’ve come back from a vacation and said city,home city. However I think I feel that changing. The trip that Pallavi, Vaishnavi and I took to Daryaganj had something to do with it. All that walking, taking rickshaws, the metro, the jaunt in CP with Pallavi, the walking around in circles looking for the spot where 56 stopped, accidentally discovering Yamoos(or is it Yamus?), the kind shop owner of Yamoos who did not turn us out despite the mess I made with my chuski, and then the stick…I think I got a feel of the city that day. And I’m glad. It’s nice to feel at home in a place that has literally been my home for the past 19 years.

Not for too long though. Graduation is a year away. I keep vacillating mentally about what I want to do beyond college, but being true to myself, I can never decide. I do know this much, however; whatever I decide to study, I know it shall not be in Delhi. Its been a long association, and the time has come to end it. I literally DO want to see the world. Starting with Pune, where hopefully I will luck out and be one of the 6 students FTII picks from the general category.

Film-making, that is what the mind is keen on, currently. Its a scary prospect, because I have no experience and I know I’m,hehe, anything but an expert, but something tells me I will be unhappy with a conventional, 9-5 desk job. I need something that makes me use my imaginition…it’s one of the only bits of me that works πŸ™‚

I haven’t read anything in weeks. Other than the odd William story. It is quite a strange situation…I don’t think I have gone without a book for so long ever in my life.

I remember how during the Boards I was so proud of myself when I didn’t touch a (non-academic) book for a whole day. I would see book lying around and I would clench my fists and turn around; I didn’t want to physicallyΒ  remove them from sight, I was afraid that once in my hands, however temporarily, I wouldn’t be able to stop myself.

Now, however, I have no desire to read. I have a Holt, the Hitchhiker’s Guide, a Social History of Rock n Roll, two random books, a Marquez, the Simoqin Prophesies all lying in front of my eyes. And I don’t feel the desire to pick up even one of them. I hope this passes. Soon!

It is now 2:15, and I don’t think I am going anywhere. Maybe I should just stop. πŸ™‚


From all around

Swirling, piling


A stupid step

That had to be taken

Look, I wait for a muddy boot.


May 29, 2007

Posted by K in Abstract Ramblings.

I would like to go to sleep one day, and wake up to a different world. And a different me.

I would like to wake up and walk into a street where I can trust people at first sight.

I would like to wake up into a world where I’m not a boy or girl, but a person.

I would like to wake up into a world where I can sit out on the rocks at night,in my own colony, and not worry about the time or how dark it is.

A world where I can pack my bags, take a cheap train to nowhere, carve myself a walking stick and just walk.

Where I can sleep under the sky, with nothing but the night to wake me.

Where I can sit down in the middle of nowhere and not be stared at.

But most of all…where I can trust you, and know you mean me no harm.

This blog shall go to sleep for two weeks. Sweet dreams πŸ™‚

May 23, 2007

Posted by K in Nonsense.


And a whistle dee dee

The cover on the raindrop


To reveal a nasty


Who let her out?

Little kitty’s tout?

Little kitty’s MEAN.



hehe. I need to add a new category…absolute nonsense.

May 23, 2007

Posted by K in Diary, Reviews/Rants, Uncategorized.

I have been watching a bit of TV, so I thought I’d talk about it. Okay,okay. I’m just bored and at home with a cold. I needed something to dosnivel.gif

1.Family Law: Channel-Hallmark. Timing:A million times a day, it seemseyes.gif

One thing- the title music is HIGHLY inappropriate. Most episodes end with a twist that is meant to make you saaad, and suddenly this roaring, rocking score kicks in. Slightly..weird.

One of the main lawyers in this is the guy who used to be in Three’s Company. He has…aged. lol. I personally find him very annoying πŸ˜› Actually quite a few actors in this serial are very annoying…but I still watch it πŸ˜€

2. Judging Amy: Channel-Hallmark, again. I’m an addict. Save me.

I got ‘hooked’ on to this show a year or so back. Loved it. I had a thing for courtroom dramas. I don’t like it so much now, but if it’s coming and I am bored, I will watch it.

The character of Maxine Gray is quite brilliant, and the woman who plays it is charming. Sprightly, spirited and spunkey. Aha! I alliterate :-p

Little note- Amy Brenneman who plays Judge Amy also did a movie with the Schwartz man. Maybe it’s because she has got ingrained in my system as Amy from Judging Amy, but I thought she looked ridiculous in it.

3. Grey’s Anatomy: Channel-Star World. Timing:I watch the Thursday morning one.

I know its supposed to be tragi-comic, but it’s the comic bit that gets me. I love the characters, the actors and the storyline. And it’s a medical drama-I have always had a thing for medical anything.

4. Simpsons: Needs no introduction. I watch the late night episodes. Simpsons does this thing to you…you break out into unprovoked laughter at weird and odd times. Like at 3 AM, sometimes eyes.gif

5. Prison Break: Star World, Tuesdays, 10 PM. When I saw the promos I laughed condescendingly. When I watched one of the early episodes I laughed mockingly. Yesterday I swallowed my laughter. I am a new addict.

Fast paced storyline, INTERESTING storyline, and good looking protagonist πŸ˜€

Hm. I know I watch more TV. This list shall be updated.

Now,in fact.

6. ER: I watch the Hallmark one, which is older than the season being shown on Zee Cafe. I think it’s a great drama; the characterisation is there, the stories are strong, and it doesn’t drag.

7. Di-Gata Warriors: Channel-Cartoon Network. At first I thought it was another one of those irritating Jap toons. Actually it probably is, but if so, the graphics are way better-the mouths don’t do that weird anime thing. Its a cute, fantasy toon πŸ™‚

8. Popeye– I’m strong to the finech coz I eat me spinech coz I’m Popeye the sailor man, toot toot! πŸ™‚ I love this toon πŸ™‚

9. Tom and Jerry.

Tahgged :B May 22, 2007

Posted by K in Blog equivalent of forwards.

By Vasudha.

Ten Things I love…here goes…

1. Iron Maiden.

2. Rainbow(the Dio days), Parikrama, other old school metal/hard rock bands.

3. Going bookshopping to Daryaganj, my first trip being on Sunday. I thought I would put up a post about this, but haven’t felt up to it πŸ™‚ To summarise- I got great books, spent a great day with Pallavi and Vaishnavi, ate at a famous Chuski wallah, and aggravated my cold, hehe. The cold still persists(I can’t taste my food. Sob.) but the euphoria…is still there πŸ˜€

4. My ‘job’. πŸ™‚

5. Writing, just about everywhere. And that includes all the spamming I do πŸ˜‰

6. FOOD! How could I leave out food! Anything chocolatey, cheesy, greasy(:D), kabab-y, non-vegy, fruit tart-y, ice-cream-y… you get the picture πŸ˜€

7. British comedy.

8. Travelling-the shoe-string budget, backpacking kind…

9. Photography- I suck at it, but the love is there πŸ™‚

10. Looking at trees πŸ™‚

The Big Fight May 19, 2007

Posted by K in contemporary, Gender.

The Big Fight had quite a topic today- Where is The Indian Woman Headed. A handful in the best of times…and with the jury they had…

There was a Shiv Sena representative, the something editor from TOI, the irrepressible Rakhi Sawant, Diya Mirza, a fashion designer…all women. I missed most of it, just caught the closing comments and the audience questions before that.

From what little I saw, it seemed to me that nobody really tackled the issue. Vikram Chandra was rude to Sawant, as were some other panelists. The audience questions weren’t sizzling, but then it’s difficult saying something intelligent when you have but a few seconds.

Did anybody watch it? If so, can they please share their views on it?

Did they tacle the question of the definition of ‘The Indian Woman’, beyond the dividing the poor woman into the ‘Rakhi Sawant type’ and the ‘Smrithi Irani type’?

I remember one inane comment by a panelist who said that the new Indian woman wanted the face of Aishwarya Rai, the brains of Indra Nooyi, and the body of…I forget, but something equally inane.

What did they have to say on the question of the body? Sawant said that Indian men reserve the same gaze for all women, no matter what they wear. I could gather that the others disagreed but I didnt quite get why…Fashion Designer(or was it TOI editor?) said something about body language determining the gaze…urgh! I’m confused! I apologise for this rambling ranty post, but I would really appreciate it if somebody could illuminate me about this particular ‘Big Fight’

Much thanks is given in advance.

All my love,


PS- I must end with my two paisa bit,ofcourse πŸ™‚ I think Rajdeep Sardesai did a better job with the show.

May 17, 2007

Posted by K in Abstract Ramblings, Diary, Life, Reviews/Rants.

I haven’t felt strongly about any issue for about a year now. I used to be the sort of person that had a (strong) opinion about everything under the sun. But in the past year or so, I haven’t chosen to take a stand on anything, publicly. I have felt more and more that my standards are mine alone and cannot be expected to be the standards agreed to by others.

The very idea of taking a stand lost its appeal, because it seemed to me that there cannot be any ‘right’ stand, and to even assume there is one, is an act of intellectual snobbery.

I have had my fight with intellectual snobbery. I have fought to keep away from it, but I know, and it kills me to know, that I slip into it too often for my liking.

Everytime I got angry or simply could not believe when people made what were, according to me, insensitive comments, I twisted myself up into knots. The insensitivity of the comments incensed me, but what right had I to assume I was right? What makes my way of thinking, or even the ‘sensitized’ people’s way of thinking the ‘right’ way? How can I ‘fight’ for the right way, when there may not be any? What is ‘right’ becomes entirely subjective. I have no right over another’s life unless they invite me into it.

Yesterday forced me to confront my thinking after a long time. Recently I had had a glimpse of the murky world that lies ‘outside’, the politics, and one’s helplessness to do something to correct a wrong. And how the one who steps out to remedy the situation has to go it alone, and with chances there will be hell to pay.

I wasn’t proud of the way I reacted. I was anxious and scared, and ashamed of myself for being so. I tried to ask myself why. Why was I anxious, was it because I was afraid to stand up to the truth? Was I afraid to stick my neck out? I’m not sure I have the answer. But I think it is largely because I don’t know whether I’m in the right completely.But then I question myself, do technicalities matter? They do, if the only system of justice is the man-made court of law. I am not an atheist; I have faith in another system. Does that make me an escapist? Where is the line between human agency and faith in god?

Yesterday made things a little clearer. Somethings are just wrong.

I witnessed something so disgusting that I was angry after a long long time. I saw how someone utilised one of the many things that are wrong in the world as a prop. As a convenient means to attain a selfish end. It angered me to see the casual way it was used to garner sympathy. The attempt to manipulate sickened me. And it really angered me to see how the person did not see that there were emotions involved on the part of other people. I’m not being very articulate, but this is one of those times when words completely fail me.

The heartlessness aside, the toying with a serious problem is a thing of concern. Matlabi people cause a lot of needless stumbling blocks in the world. They take advantage of steps taken to put things right.

Take the anti-dowry law, for instance. I was really happy when the strong law came to be passed; to know that if a woman complained of dowry harassment, her husband and in-laws could immediately be put behind bars. Until I found out how many women file false complaints.

Why do people do this? Do they not realise how harmful their lying and trivialisation of a serious issue can be? How much do people like this set back attempts to take human society forward? A skewed system of Newton’s third law seems to operate here…for every action taken to right a wrong there will be a reaction that as good as cancels the action.

News…with a difference May 16, 2007

Posted by K in contemporary.

Today’s paper has a piece on the International Page about Naked News. Incase you are wondering what Naked News is, it is NOT a program that gives you news without frills. It is so named because the anchors, male and female, strip as they read the news.

Naturally, it has generated controversy. What flabbergasted me, however, was that an anchor said that there was nothing wrong with it BECAUSE a) nudity has become unfairly associated with immorality, and more so b)that it is not sexual.

Not sexual??

She also goes on to say that when reporting disasters like 9/11, they kept their clothes on for a week…to be ‘respectful’. That confused me…if being ‘respectful’ is being fully clothed, isn’t it an indirect admission that stripping on the job is ‘disrespectful’?

The anchor says it is only entertainment. She also says it is not sexual.Either I’m really thick, or her definition of sexual is very, very different.

Personally, I laugh when they claim to be a serious news channel. I can see them classified under ‘Adult Entertainment’, but not as a news channel. Does that make me a prude?

The Candle of Life May 15, 2007

Posted by K in From The Attic, Poem.

The candle

Burns while we live,

The flicker in the flame-

Those bursts

Of glorious light.

The candle of life

Shortens, shortens;

That flame remains

Alive as ever;

The candle withers-

The flame leaps,

The candle loses shape,

The happy flame heeds naught.

The wax trickles down,

The flame shines forth;

The candle is just a stub,

The flame is the brightest;

When all of a sudden-


There is no candle,

There is no flame.


Is Life.


(This is what I was referring to. I did warn you its bad πŸ™‚ )

May 15, 2007

Posted by K in Uncategorized.
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Mirror, Mirror on the wall

Reflect at will my inner call.