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The Candle of Life May 15, 2007

Posted by K in From The Attic, Poem.
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The candle

Burns while we live,

The flicker in the flame-

Those bursts

Of glorious light.

The candle of life

Shortens, shortens;

That flame remains

Alive as ever;

The candle withers-

The flame leaps,

The candle loses shape,

The happy flame heeds naught.

The wax trickles down,

The flame shines forth;

The candle is just a stub,

The flame is the brightest;

When all of a sudden-

Phut!

There is no candle,

There is no flame.

That

Is Life.

 

(This is what I was referring to. I did warn you its bad 🙂 )

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Comments»

1. Greg Landheim - May 21, 2007

This is a wonderful poem. The allegory is beautiful. Maybe it’s because I’ve lived a lot longer than you, but I could see different events and phases of my life in your description of the candle.

I don’t remember you ever inviting criticism, but IMHO the ending would be stronger if you just dropped the three lines:

“Phut!”

and

“That

is Life.”

Leaving the ending as:

“When all of a sudden-

There is no candle

There is no flame.”

But that’s just my _opinion_. It works fine just as it is.

2. Greg Landheim - May 21, 2007

I hated to end my comment with a negative criticism so I wanted to restate how much I like this poem. Not only is it a wonderful visual allegory, but it struck me as a happy poem. But then, the dance of flame always makes me happy.

3. sporadicblogger - May 21, 2007

Thanks for the critique 🙂 I actually always welcome criticism…I never specifically state it, but I do 🙂

And yes, the dance of fire makes one happy, doesn’t it?

4. whyguy - March 13, 2009

Superb ! I loved it.


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