jump to navigation

April 11, 2006

Posted by K in Uncategorized.
trackback

Being short is not central to my identity. It is not for me, and it shouldn’t be for people, especially those who are close to me.

     Sometimes it annoys me and amuses me that people who hold such lofty ideals about not discriminating against ‘fat’ people, and ‘disabled’ people think it is just fine to constantly refer to a person’s height as if it were an amusing thing, as if it were cute, and what is even more surprising, is that they expect the butt of their joke to join in with the laughter, or atleast appreciate the ‘humour’ of the situation. Oh, its funny, alright; the first time(the more oxygen one was actually funny :D)  the second time, even the third time. But it crosses a line when it becomes a daily occurrence. I am not referring to specific people, but lately I have been noticing it coming from my own friends very frequently.

    When people are with fat people, they make most conscious efforts to steer clear of topics that might be considered offensive. This is because fat people are pitied, and deep down everybody thinks along the lines of ‘my god! That’s so bad for his/her health!’ (And while we’re on that, why does everybody become so concerned for the health of fat people, when they might in fact themselves be unhealthier than the fat person. It smacks of ignorance and hypocrisy)  There is a convention for ‘ugly’ people as well. ‘You’re not ugly; beauty is indeed in the eye of the beholder’. When a person says this, you just know that they feel sorry for you, and that they indeed think you’re not exactly great looking.

     You guys, that comment about the short little secy, along with constant ones of lil me, small hands annoy me when they are made with such regularity( from all of you). I know its not intentional(or I would stop liking you 😉 ) but it really bothers me. I don’t want to bring up this issue, because I don’t want to give the wrong impression; I’ve noticed that when one wants to talk about things like this, the automatic conclusion people come to is that you’re insecure about yourself, that you need to be consoled, that that particular thing doesn’t really matter in life. I know my height doesn’t matter in life. I have a particularly strong body image. I love my body and I love me 😀 ! It almost amounts to narcissism sometimes 😀 but I’m proud of it. I’m aware it’s an important trait to have, and although it might project you as a proud, egotistical individual, it will be your friend for life. It allows you to become one of your best friends. It also creates a distance between you and other people sometimes, but then again, often enough you’ll realise that it is a distance that ought to be created. Its either the whole you, or a compromised you, and if the ego demands you disown the compromised you, so be it 😀 

       I have noticed that people harbour a lot of prejudices about short people. They find it amusing when short people are in control, are in a position of authority. And you have comments like he/she’s so short but look at the power he/she wields! Especially heads of institutions. Even cricketers aren’t excluded from this prejudice. This can probably be traced back to psychological reasons, like short people resembling children etc. All fair and cool, but for gods sake grow up sometime! One ought be mature enough to see that a certain characteristic, be it colour, gender,  looks, height, horizontal measurement, physical ‘complete-ability’ etcetera, cannot be the only attributive of an individual, especially if the individual doesn’t want it to be. The latter part of the sentence is very important because some fools believe that it is alright to categorise pretty people and make it their defining feature. This point was driven home when I happened to catch an episode of America’s Next Top Model, where an aspirant was very upset about the way people categorise models as beautiful people and nothing more. I am MORE THAN THAT! She said. I’m an intelligent, cultured human being who does many other things too, is interested in so many other things as well, so WHY do people persist in seeing me as ‘just’ a model?   

    Oh well, end of long ranty post. I just feel that if my other close friends can see more of me than my height, my new friends ought to too 😀 I have no bitter feelings, just intense irritation. Heed my words!  😀

Advertisements

Comments»

1. pallavi - April 13, 2006

whoa all i can say is sorry for all the times my stupid off hand remarks have upset you….i swear i believe theres much more to you than all those things that you just mentioned but also that ive always thought that u being called lil in a cute way was almost like bhumi n me being called kidu ,me being called a dunmbass and jessica being constantnly referred to as the tarrot reader i mean my frns including me in a joke about my self doesnt really has never upset me or caused me to think but i guess different ppl think differently
and i completely respect your opinion
thanks for the jerky eye opener 😀
will heed your words
love
pallavi

2. sporadicblogger - April 13, 2006

well, me called lil isn’t like u too being called kidu, tho it is sim to jess tar card reader, tho we do it less freq to her.:D

kidu has nothing to do with you, as opp to my being short, which has!

anyway, its not that big a deal, just thought you guys should know 😀

love you all 😀

3. sporadicblogger - April 13, 2006

also, like i said, i’m fine with the joke (i don’t expect u guys to stop 😉 ) BUT when it becomes a daily thing, constant thing, it does begin to irritate! Imagine if someone refererd to you by your colour, however jokingly, constantly, it would be irritating after a point, wouldn’t it?
but then again, maybe not, diff ppl do think diff 😀

4. Libran Lover - April 14, 2006

Be thankful you are not in the US! What is considered average or even taller-than-average in India, is considered short in the US!

So, who is this friend who thinks all problems can be dealt with “love, love, love”? If I sound so much like her, perhaps you should ask her to drop by my blog! 🙂

Thanks for leaving a comment. I have posted another rant today called “Sexist World – 2”, if you are interested.

LL

5. sporadicblogger - April 14, 2006

Ha ha, yes I know, my cousin is about 5’3” and she tells me that she is by far the shortest of all her friends 😀

I’ll let that friend know. She blogs too, but on msn.

I’ll be sure to read the second rant.

Thanks for dropping by 🙂

6. pallavi - April 14, 2006

wen u say me being referred by my colour i actually wudnt get offended because im too comfy in my skin to be offended 🙂
and at the end of it all
we all love each other and its good that u came out and said watever you did because it’ll help all of us understand each other better
😀

7. sporadicblogger - April 14, 2006

ah, missing my point again, dear 😉 colour was just an example of an accidental physical attribute, which one might or might not want to associate with one's image of self.
like i said, i'm incredibly comfortable with me to the point of being narcissictic(blah! to spelling!) BUT when a certain accidental chracteristic of mine(one that i don't invite close to my bosom and bestow upon it the honour of defining me 🙂 😉 ) becomes almost my call sign i would reject it as opposed to one of my doing and choosing.

😀

8. sporadicblogger - April 14, 2006

I’m NOT offended, but Irritated, which is different.

The way my thoughts are on this, is that while i wouldn’t mind being called stuff like slattern/lazy/stupid/two left feet/ colour blind/freak/ uglyetc, i wouldn’t like to be called little/fat/thin/etc.
This is because in case of the former, those characteristics are stuff I’ve built up, stuff i have control over and power to change, its suff i’ve created about me. whereas in the latter case, those happened accidentaly, so NO part of me is any way related to anything of it.

Thats the way i think,have thought, will prob continue to think 😀

9. pallavi - April 14, 2006

hmm i see wat ur saying but jus that the intention was never to make anything central to your identity even the good things about you:)
there can be nothing central to anyone’s identity but the point here is that it’s nice you spoke about it .
i hate victorian 😦

10. sporadicblogger - April 14, 2006

me too yech!

i know the intention wasn't there, but even unintentional, it bugs coz it goes against they way I think about stuff like this, na? 🙂

but coming back to that, now that i'm thinking of tags we attach to ppl…when u CALL someone something, or refer to them by that, then SOMETHING compelled you to pick that,right? and what do u pick but what u consider to be a significant part of a person, or u wouldn't stick to that one char,eh? Just a question of academic interest :dorky:

11. Libran Lover - April 15, 2006

Would you share the link to your friend’s blog with me, please? Thanks.

12. sporadicblogger - April 15, 2006

i don’t remember it. i’ll ask her, and let you know.
its on msn space tho

13. Libran Lover - April 29, 2006

Hi,

Just checking back. How are things going?

LL


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: